It's Downright Cold

I know at some point I had all the appropriate clothes to fend of the chill of a California winter. But somehow, someway, my closet has swallowed up those yummy wool, fleece, cashmere, and angora items and barfed them up in the Abyss of Lost Things That Will Never Be Found Again.

I've had so many garage sales and clothing give-aways in an attempt to rid my life of the endless clothing clutter that overwhelms my two walk in closets...could I have been so blinded by the summer sun that I neglected to anticipate my need for these pieces of clothing?

Arrhhhg.

I hate being cold.

Eleven Pros and Cons of Being 24 Years Old and Never Having Had a Real Job

So you busy-bees of the Working World can know once and for all whether or not you're really missing anything...


Pro: I can count the amount of times I have actually been in "morning traffic" on my fingers.

Con: Two words...Evening Traffic. Can't you people stagger it a bit?


Pro: The words "corporate ladder", "memo", "deadline", "boss", "subordinate" and "you're fired" exist in a mythical land far far away from here.

Con: All the humor on the apparently very funny TV Show "The Office" zips right over my head.


Pro: I haven't had to wake up at the same early and ungodly hour every single day since the day I graduated from High School (my 2 weeks of college don't count).

Con: The rest of the world does. You miss out on alot when you wake up past noon every day. I especially miss...well...actually...I can't remember what I miss its been so damn long.


Pro: I have all the time in the world to get whatever I want to get done DONE.

Con: I never do. Why? Because...


Pro: I get to click my little mouse through my computer games all day and for as long as I want without anybody bothering me.

Con: Excessive mouse-clicking can cause pain symptoms like-unto carpal tunnel syndrome.


Pro: As a worker in the more..shall we say..."artistic" and "entrepreneurial" fields, I have never been limited to a specific amount of earnings.

Con: Not being able to solidly budget for that gorgeous Isabella Fiore purse I've been eyeing all season is torture.


Pro: I get to go to movies for the matinee price.

Con: The only people at the theater in the middle of the day are either the retired elderly or parents with their pre-school-aged children. The former are indecisive in the snack line and take too long when there's a long bathroom line and the latter scream the whole way through the movie or make asinine comments/ask embarrassing questions during the juicy sex scenes. Can't I just behold George Clooney's naked ass in peace people?


Pro: I've can watch "the Notebook" any time I get the urge.

Con: I am constantly out of Kleenex.


Pro: Not that many people are out doing their grocery shopping and errands during the day so I get decent parking and short check-out lines.

Con: The walk between my car and whatever shopping establishment I am visiting is probably the only exercise I get all day, so cutting that short is not necessarily a good thing. And short lines=chatty checkers. See my previous blog about "Strangers Who Smoke Weed". I mean, by the time you get out of there after all that small talk you might as well have waited in a long line. At least then you wouldn't have had to share the particulars of what exactly it is you are cooking with the groceries you are purchasing and with whom will you be consuming them and are any of them single cause I'm looking for a date and hey maybe I could give you my number and you could pass it along and hey what about you you're cute are you with someone oh you're married wow you look too young too be married wow too bad maybe in another life and do you need help getting these bags to your car and are you sure cause you look pretty weak nah just kidding haha well okay then have a good day and happy new year and happy belated holidays and happy early Valentines see you soon blah blah blah BLAH BLAH. Sheesh.


Pro: A little tradition I like to call Afternoon Tea with Oprah and Dr. Phil.

Con: Yeah...there's no con for this one.


And finally...


Pro: This one's self explanatory. I mean c'mon people...I'm livin' the dream! I'm 24 years old and I've never had a real job!

Con: However, I'm 24 years old and I've never had a real job.


Okay....well it sounds really lame when you put it like that.



Happy workday, workforce.

Could my husband be any more perfect? I don't think so.

I just happened upon this picture and had to brag on my love.

The Phenomenon That is Bleu Cheese

As I sit here adding various condiments to my yummy lunch-time salad, I wonder: Why is mold okay when it comes to bleu cheese?

Every week (okay, every month) I put on the cleaning gloves, get on my hands and knees, and scrub till I say uncle at the soap scum and mold/mildew that has accumulated in the dark recessed corners of my shower and around my kitchen faucet, appalled when I can't obliterate it from that oh-so-small corner--even with a bleach-soaked toothbrush--yet for SOME REASON I will look into the face of a big gob of blue mold right there in my cheese and I don't care. I'll even put it in my mouth and say "yum" like it's no big deal. In fact, I will enjoy it.

I mean, I know there's all kinds of nasty things about other cheeses and eggs and yogurt (the words "active cultures" on the label should sound the alarm) and just dairy products in general that I should be cringing at too, but they don't show any outward visual signs of being abnormal or strange or disgusting. I can see the mold on this cheese. It looks just like the mold I found on the 2 week old Italian take-out I threw out just yesterday.

But for some reason, it's okay with me and I'm totally about to eat it.

Strange, but yummy.

A phenomenon.

Okay, Okay...

I couldn't resist going just a shade or two darker with this site...the font on that other template was making me insane! I guess they don't call me a perfectionist for nothing. All the little colorful dots still preserve the light-heartedness I'm aiming for...and they even kind of look like little twinkling stars, don't you think?


Just humor me.

2005

So I know I'm not the only one who's sitting down to their computers this week to contribute a "New Year" themed blog to the internet abyss, but I can't resist. What a year. Upon reflection, I realize that this is probably the year that I actually arrived at womanhood. I'm sure I will arrive at womanhood in new forms every year (if not every day) from now on, but I can't help pausing to reflect on the year that made me one for the first time.

Pause. Reflect.

Was it facing the possible loss of first my father, then--briefly--my mother? It certainly seemed to dominate my thoughts this year. Was it going through the process of buying a house I loved, only to see it slip away, and then coming to the realization that letting it go was exactly the right thing to do? That certainly was an educational experience. Was it seeing the light shine into the darkness of my family and finally being able to accept what I saw and move on? Was it learning to love them without the expectation that I could change them? Was it the realization that they didn't want my help? All of that certainly plays a role. Was it watching my little girl sister fall in love and get married? Or seeing my little tiny brother--the one I could remember as a soft head of black hair, doll-sized fists, and mushy skin--start college? All that certainly did make me feel quite old.

Was it meeting new friends? Deepening the precious ones I have? Rekindling ones I had forgotten? Was it something about my constantly surprising and beautiful marriage? Was it finally learning what being loved by God truly meant?

Was it conquering my fear of airplanes, music, and Jeremy suddenly falling out of love with me that did it? Or was it the resolution that I just can't do elevators or quit nail-biting? Was it falling in love with fiction? Was it kicking the porn habit? Was it learning that how I feel about myself carrying a few extra pounds is up to me, just as much as whether or not I lose them or put on more is? Was it living to see the day my boobs grew big enough to buy bras at Victoria's Secret? Was it buying my first pair of jeans over a hundred dollars? Was it finally learning that my excessive shopping is curbed only by my clearly and religiously avoiding the mall?

Was it finally allowing myself to be what I am without feeling the constant need to apologize? Was it finally seeing myself grow into my skin and not be afraid of it? Was it the accepting of something? The allowance of something I hadn't permitted before?

Perhaps.

More probably, it is all of the above. Who I am now is truly the sum of many parts. Some easier to come upon, others harder to win. Some thrust upon me, others chosen.

Pause. Reflect.

Another year, another me. Another year, another more understood self. An arrived self. Arrived, only to move on and keep moving on to her next destination. More to come upon, win, accept, believe in, observe, trust in, take hold of, give up, discover, uncover, pray for, become--Parts, all coming together to make one complete and unerasable me, forever recorded in indelible pen, just the way I like it.

Me.

Just the way I like it.

New woman, new year. Happy 2006.

God bless us, every one.

Back from the Dead

No, I did not die.

No, I did not evaporate off the face of the earth.

What is my lame excuse for waiting an entire month before adding a single word to my blog?

I've been busy.

I know. Lame. But what are you gonna do? Honestly, I've been really busy.

The person I was a month ago is almost a completely different one from the person writing this blog now, so I decided to change the look of things a bit to reflect my transformation. It's much more light and bright around here.

In the way of updates:

- We backed out of the house...at first I was sad, but now I am really glad we did.
- My Dad successfully underwent an experimental stem-cell surgery for his heart in Bangkok and we are waiting for him to recover enough to fly home to Hawaii...hopefully before Christmas.
- Hubby is in the market for a car. This is a big step for a couple who have been driving a free car for the past 7 years. Good ol' Camry has been by our side through good times and bad, and soon she will be solely my car while Jeremy gets to roll around town in a swank BMW X5.
- I finished my songs and showed them to my producer and she flipped over them. It's full speed ahead after we get back from Hawaii, which should be very interesting.
- I totally fell in love with reading again and as a result, founds the two greatest books of all time. The most raw and jaw clenching reading experience known to man comes in the form of "A Million Little Pieces." So good...if you can stomach it. Then there's my new favorite book of all time: "The Time Traveler's Wife." It's such a beautiful and touching and unexpected love story, you will be touched forever. I LOVE this book.
- I became the proud owner of a 20 inch iMac G5. Beautious and much to luxurious for me, but I'm not complaining. :) It practically purrs ate me.

And that's the basic gist of things. Unfortunately, I'm still busy, so I don't really have time for much more, but I promise to try and be more faithful to my blogspot.

Till then...

In Escrow

Okay so I have, like, 5 minutes to blog here so this is going to be a bit disjointed.

I am in escrow on my first home.

4 bedrooms, undervalued by almost 150,000, 1 mile from the beach and harbor walk, directly behind massive greenbelt, running/bike trail, and playground. Vaulted ceilings, skylights, firplace, private back patio, park view from Master Bedroom, newly remodeled everything, 6 jet jaccuzzi tub. Closets in every room, brand new carpet, AND it comes with a refrigerator!

Alls I'm saying is: It's awesome.

God is SO good.

What's funny is that we weren't even in the market for a house (not seriously, anyway.) Here's the timeline...

Thursday, 11/10 - I pray about how hopeless I feel becasue I just don't know how we can afford to buy a house to raise kids in in the OC and ask God for a miracle and soon.

Friday, 11/11 - Hang with Poka and hubby and wax poetic/lament about impossibility of home owning in Orange County.

Saturday, 11/12 - Jer and I go out for a bike ride and decide to stop and check out an open house inside a neighborhood that Jeremy has always said he wants to live in. We do this sometimes for fun. As we're viewing the house, Jer and I both have visions of our family and our future. We look at the price. Kind of doable. We get info and leave. The more we thinka bout it, the more doable it becomes.

Sunday, 11/13 - We decide to put in an offer. We low-ball and manage to get just 10,000 over our asking price.

Monday, 11/14 - We accept and the seller signs the papers to begin escrow at eight minutes after midnight.

Tuesday, 11/15 - We freak out, and visit the house twice.

Wednesday, 11/16 - We are approved for our loan. (This is incredibly and ridiculously fast, just so's ya know.)

Thursday, 11/17 - Inspector comes and tells us our house is in almost perfect condition except for a few minor things.

So here I am, just thanking God for how awesomely faithful He is. He answered my prayer so quickly! Now I'll know better than to pray for something to come "soon", cause when God's means soon, he means SOON.

I cannot go into detail right now, but the fact that this is all working out is an absolute miracle. We've witnessed at least three throughout this process and I;m sure there are many more we haven't even been able to recognize.

Last miracle we need done, all you pray-ers out there, is for the down payment.

$150,000 down.

Jer's Dad has it, but we are about to drop a huge bomb on him that he may not take well, so we ae PRAYING that he can separate the down payment issue from the bomb-like issue.

Bottom line is, if God wants us to have this house, we will have it. He doesn't? We won't. Do I want it if God's doesn't want me to have it? Nope. So as long as God's will is being done, I am a-okay with whatever outcome.

So please pray for this:

1) Healing to be possible with us and Greg (Jer's Dad) on the big issue.

2) That no matter what, the down payment issue can either be seen as separate by Greg and be provided for us through him, or that my dad would be able to come through for us, or that it would come from somewhere else we don't know about. We just need a down payment from somewhere.

3) That God's will would be done above all, and that no other outside forces could come and prevent that from happening so we will know that whatever happens is what God wants for us and not coincidence.

Thanks y'all. I'll update you later!

Money CAN Buy Happiness

I know they said it couldn’t be done.

But I have proof right here in my hot little hand--or more accurately, wrapped around my legs, hips and butt.

That’s right, the happiness I have bought comes in the form of a brand new pair of jeans.

And not just any jeans. THE jeans. They are beautiful. They are unique. They are hand crafted, have hand stitched details, are made with the finest denim available with just the right amount of stretch and just the right amount of flare and they are just expensive enough that you can still justify buying them but you know they're not lying about all the quality stuff. They make me feel skinnier, prettier, more fashionable, cuter, and just generally more excited to get up and get dressed in the morning.

They make me happy.

money = hot new jeans = happiness.

I just love provin’ the system wrong and damnin’ the man.

(PS: Just so you all know, that's not me in the picture. I look way hotter than her in the jeans, trust me--Undercover Celebrity, you gonna back me up on that or what?)